Tuesday, January 26, 2010

"On Love and Respect"...probably the first of many

So Eric and I, along with some friends, are reading a book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs called "Love and Respect". The book is about the woman's primary need to feel loved and men's primary need to feel respected. We have pretty much only read the intro so far, but I think it's going to be great!

The men like this book because it doesn't always assume that the men are wrong in most marriage situations...but to be honest, I like it for that reason too! Instead of reading a book that generally just focuses on my needs as a woman, and then spending my time thinking about how my husband doesn't meet those needs, its much better to know where I fall short so I can ask God to change me to be a better wife!

Anyways, that's the back story... so lately I've been praying a lot about my marriage! Asking God to show me the areas where I "take over" and don't properly honor my husband as the head of the household. I've also been asking God to teach me how to react in those times when I don't feel loved in the way that I would like.

During church last sunday we sang "The Desert Song" which I love!!!....great chorus, verses, everything! The part that stuck out for me, though, was when we sing "Break my heart for what breaks Yours, Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause, SHOW ME HOW TO LOVE LIKE YOU HAVE LOVED ME." I was thinking about those words and just began to ask God to show me how to love my husband as Jesus has loved me (and of course, following with the theme of the book to be able to show love to my husband through respect).

Well, since then, God has really made this statement real to me and basically shown me that If I really want to love like He loves me I have no ground for any fussing, complaining, pity parties at all when it comes to my husband! Jesus was nailed to a cross because of His love for me! He made the ultimate sacrifice and since then there are MANY MANY MANY times when I have treated Him wrongly!! How can I even begin to compare anything to that?!? So I began to ask Jesus to "conform me into His image" and show me how to love my husband (and others) on that kind of a level! A level that is willing to love with everything...not based on results, and even in fact, assuming results that you won't like! If I commit to love my husband as Jesus has loved me then I am to love even when all I receive in return is a bad attitude, etc. I mean, I can't even wrap my mind around the fact that Jesus was nailed to a cross for me and then many times a day I turn around and basically slap him in the face with thoughts, actions, and words that I have that are not glorifying to God. Jesus, continue to show me how to love like you have loved me!

P.S. ...my husband is an amazing guy and I love him sooo much! I don't want this to sound like "OMG my man has issues!" Love you E!

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