So Long Insecurity...Part 1=)

I've started reading Beth Moore's book "So Long Insecurity" and it is amazing! I'm only a couple chapters in, but Beth wastes no time in "telling it like it is." I have a feeling that this is going to be the first of many posts that develop from this book.

First of all, let me say that I am EXTREMELY PASSIONATE about seeing a generation of STRONG, SECURE women raised up!! Nothing gets me more "fired up" then to see a young woman so wrapped up in her insecurities that she is either 1) On the fast track to nowhere or 2) On the fast track to the wrong place.

Now I know that I have been very blessed in my life... I was raised by amazing Christian parents who constantly built security in me. They told me all the time that I was beautiful...that I was valuable...that I was worth something...and that I could do anything I put my mind to. The sky was the limit! I believed them.

The foundation was built from birth, thanks to my Mom and Dad, that allowed my security to be built upon the Rock. Yes, of course I had my moments in high school where I was covered in zits and wearing braces and that didn't feel too sure of myself... but we're talking foundations here.

I didn't chronically date, but I wasn't single long either;) I married my best friend shortly after my 21st birthday. We moved into a beautiful home and now we have a perfect daughter who is almost 9 months old. Some may say that I have had it easy and it's no wonder why I don't battle insecurity like some women do. And I agree...I have had it easy. But that's not the point! The point is Jesus has loved me and saved me and allowed me to lay everything at His feet so that I can build my everything on Him!

Back to Beth Moore... Here is an amazing quote from her book that expresses my feelings perfectly:

"How could I need anything else in this world beyond what I already have? Lord, have mercy. What more could a woman want? As a matter of fact, I'd like to tell you exactly what more this woman could want- and not just for herself. I want some soul-deep security drawn from a source that never runs dry and never disparages us for requiring it. We need a place we can go when as much as we loathe it, we are needy and hysterical. I don't know about you, but I need someone who will love me when I hate myself. And yes, someone who will love me again and again until I kiss terrestrial sod good-bye."

That's what I want too, Beth!

We can always go deeper... He always wants to take us higher...

HE NEVER LETS GO!

"Stuff" happens when you are living life on this earth... this song has really been encouraging me today!

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Chorus:

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Chorus: (2x’s)

-Matt Redman "You Never Let Go"

God and Grass

Since we moved into our new house in August of 2008, we (scratch that) Eric has been working very hard to get some "weedless grass" growing in our yard. There wasn't much yard at all when we moved in and so he has seeded multiple times with multiple types of seed and done other stuff (I don't know what). Overall, there has been little success... I must say too that this has been the issue of many arguments because he has spent A LOT of time and money on various grass projects.

I happen to really, really not care about the grass as long as it as cut and green!! I was overjoyed when some weeds started to grow in our yard, because I don't care if it is cut grass or cut weeds as long as it is cut and green in the summer! I have argued with Eric so many times about the waste of money that it is to try and have a golf course-like yard, but I continue to surrender the battles and just write it off as "a guy thing." (Seriously, grass has been my whole "submissive wife" test!)

The most recent development was that Eric hired a guy to come out and spray a "pre-emergent" (spelling?) on our yard which would basically kill everything that wasn't grass (a.k.a. everything). This way he could start from scratch (again) and re-seed once the weeds were dead. I was not happy!! First of all, this all sounds expensive....Second, we're going into Spring and all the lawns in our neighborhood are starting to green up again. I DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONLY BROWN YARD! I DON'T CARE IF IT IS JUST WEEDS!

I caved.... Because the Bible tells wives to submit to their husbands....

(This is going somewhere...)

Recently I have realized that while I didn't see the bigger picture at the time, Eric was right and I think this is going to work! Yes our yard is entirely brown, but there is fresh growth of real grass peeking through everywhere!!

(And this is where it goes somewhere...)

Over the past few days, God has used my yard as a picture of how He wants to work in our lives. Just like I have been willing to settle for weeds in my yard, so many times we are willing to settle in our lives. We settle for second best... settle for partial healing/deliverance... settle for kind of holy and almost righteous... Why? Because we still want to fit in...we don't want to seem weird...we don't want to be the one yard with brown grass when everyone else's is turning green.

God wants so much more for us if we will just die to ourselves 100%! He wants us to be extreme and be willing to kill off everything that is of us in order to allow Him to bring His growth. The best part? God is not going to leave us with dead yards...He makes all things new!

My prayer is for God to kill my yard even more! I don't want to settle for a green yard of weeds... I want real grass:)

And if my husband reads this.... you were right. I was wrong;)

He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." Revelation 21:5

Contending for the title of "Superwoman"

This weekend I am keeping my 5 month old niece, Julia, while my bro-in-law and sis-in-law are out of town. I picked up Julia (also know as Jules, Ju-Ju and Ju-wa) this morning (Fri) and I will be passing her off to her other Aunt on Monday. So far it's going really well! Julia and Addi are both happy babies, so I am hoping for the best! The little cousins are so cute together=) I will update later...